There are many ways to kill a zombie—decapitation, crushing the skull, de-braining, and more. Think of how much more convenient it would be to have all the zombie-defense tools you would ever need in one place.
Well, you’re in luck.
A dude on Instructables made a Swiss Army Machete he calls the Zombie Defense Multi-tool.
We’ve seen a lot of crazy knives over the years—the world’s largest pocket knife, the legendary squid knife, and the knife chainsaw to name a few—but this one might take the cake.
The guy, who goes by seamster on Instructables, created a fully functional Swiss Army knife that’s about three feet tall and includes zombie weaponry. The machete is the centerpiece of the knife, but it also boasts a crescent, a pipe wrench, a hammer/hatchet combo, a large auger bit, and a steel pipe (a crowbar is shown in the image but he ended up using a piece of pipe instead).
Unlike some of the other cool knives, this guy goes through every step on how it was created. He crafted wooden handle scales and painted them the classic red and rigged up the hinges. He even cut a slot to put the metal pipe where the toothpick would normally go.
Before you get into a huff about how this is totally inefficient and wouldn’t be effective in a real zombie apocalypse, this is a tongue-in-cheek creation that’s well done and deserves applause.
The Swiss Army Machete is a hilariously awesome idea, but my favorite aspect of it has to be the belt clip (which is just bent angle brackets).
Here’s another picture, but I highly encourage you to head over to the actual page to check it out.
September 16, 2015 at 4:37 pm
In the picture of the tools associated with this Army ‘knife’, you are showing a ‘Crescent’ style wrench, not a ‘good ol wrench’, and your descriptive ‘Monkey Wrench’ is actually a ‘Rigid’ style ‘pipe wrench’ for tightening pipe that has been threaded. The actual ‘Monkey’ wrench has no serrated teeth and the adjustment arm stays perpendicular to the handle with no ‘toggle’ action as this ‘pipe’ wrench has. The pipe wrench has the ‘toggle’ so that it can give the teeth a ‘bite’ into the pipe since it is cylindrical. The ‘Monkey’ wrench is also in many sizes as the ‘pipe’ wrench, to handle tightening and loosening the hex sided nuts on pipe ‘fittings’ like a 3 piece Universal Joint to join two pipes together that are properly threaded and of proper size. “MONKEY WRENCH” for ‘FITTINGS’, “PIPE WRENCH” for ‘PIPE’. Of course, if you must be contrary, you can use a pipe wrench to tighten fittings, but you won’t have as good of a ‘bite’ on the piece being tightened or loosened – sort of like using a METRIC end-wrench on an SAE bolt head or nut. But don’t call a ‘pipe wrench’ a ‘monkey wrench’, that’s just blasphemy to plumbers. Ok, BTW, the ‘steel pipe’ you show is NOT, it IS a ‘Crow Bar’, or what some now call a ‘nail (or better known as a pry) bar’. Thanks.
September 16, 2015 at 5:44 pm
Thanks for the thorough and passionate response. I’ve never learned so much about wrenches in my life. I edited the article with the correct and accurate information. As for the steel bar, the guy originally was going to use a pry bar but decided against it for design reasons.
October 27, 2020 at 2:31 pm
Hey Tim,
If you guys are going to repost 5 year old stuff you need to check the links and delink the dead ones. This item isn’t on the site anymore.