The Cutting Edge

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Vote for Your Favorite Entry in Our Bear Grylls Contest

So, after reviewing numerous entries, we’ve narrowed down the field in our Bear Grylls contest to two.  One of these knife enthusiasts will win a 12-component Bear Grylls’ signature multi-tool. Check out the entries and vote for your favorite by either typing 1 or 2 in the comment field. Voting ends on Sunday at midnight Central Time.  Here’s the scenario, once again.

Bear is standing on a rock in the middle of the Amazon River wearing nothing but camouflage briefs. On one bank there is a nest full of anacondas. On the other, there is a vicious-looking jaguar. The river is full of piranhas.

Bear has possession of the following things: a coconut, a monkey, two Budweiser bottles and 10 palm leaves, in addition to his Ultimate Multi-Tool with 12 components. Give Bear advice on how to escape to safety by entering your answer in the comment field below.  You can’t submit an entry after Friday.

(1) By: Robert Worsham

OK guys, this is too easy. Using the multi-tool, pop open the beers and give ‘em to the monkey. After two beers, he’s not gonna give much of a rip about anything. While he’s drinking the beer, tie all of the palm leaves together, making a makeshift rope. Tie one end around one of the monkey’s ankles. Yeah, you guessed it, sacrifices must be made when it comes to survival. Toss the monkey towards the jaguar, getting him as close to the shore as you can. The jaguar will see the monkey splashing around as the piranhas go to work on him, smell the drunken fresh monkey meat (easy pickings, he figures) and jump in the river after him.

Oops, too late!! Cats are so stupid. Instant monkey and jaguar meat piranha feast. Grab the coconut, jump in and swim for shore right past the disappearing monkey and jaguar. Those piranha will be so overwhelmed by the fresh monkey and jaguar meat that they won’t even notice a skinny little guy in camo skivvies. Once you make it to shore, use the multi-tool to crack open the cococut for a refreshing and energy-building drink and then get outta there. Don’t even go NEAR the snakes! I HATE snakes!!!

(2) By: Conner Bircher

Use the knife to kill and skin the monkey, save the meat. Drench the body in beer since it will leave a sticky residue, use the palm leaves to wrap around your body using the monkey skin to tie the palm leaves on. Throw the monkey corpse in the river distracting the piranhas, break bottles open with knife as a swimming/thrashing tool, keep multi tool between teeth while swimming. Once on shore dig a hole with a split coconut deep enough to cover the snake completely, use broken bottles as a impaling tool, cover hole with palm leaves and when the snake falls in, jump on top of it and stab its head with the blade… that’s how I would do

Vote for your favorite entry by typing either one or two in the comment field. A winner will be announced on Monday.

17 Comments

  1. Better drink your own piss

  2. if u hav a boat turn it up side down for shelter

  3. use some kinda mirior to signal plane

  4. use a 12 volt car batery put negative and psitive to start fire

  5. did a hole in the ground to use for heat

  6. if u see salt ice melt it it has 90% of freshwater

  7. fyi i want that knife it beter not be a gimeic oh wat kind agian

  8. none of yalls ideas have enough info to save him from a chihuahua, let alone from the amazon

  9. first off, you leave the snakes alone. to much work and risk of infection from the snake bites. second, you wait for the jaguar to leave the other bank, then try to swim with the current while making your way across, so as not to waste energy. Then take the bark from the coconut hust and make it into very fibery and stringy by breaking it apart, it should look like a birds nest when done. then all you need are some components and you are set to make a fire with the bow and drill method. After that you can skin and cook the monkey for food. saving the guts for fishing bait latter on. Keep the beers, they are a good scource of energy and fat that you may need later on.

  10. Well since I am #2 I honorably vote for #1

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